A collection of essays and illustrations by the American humorist, including "The Seal in the Bedroom" and "My Life and Hard Times" "An authentic American genius. . . . Mr. Thurber belongs in the great lines of American humorists that includes Mark Twain and Ring Lardner." --Philadelphia Inquirer James Thurber's unique ability to convey the vagaries of life in a funny, witty, and often satirical way earned him accolades as one of the finest humorists of the twentieth century. A bestseller upon its initial publication in 1945, The Thurber Carnival captures the depth of his talent and the breadth of his wit. The stories compiled here, almost all of which first appeared in The New Yorker, are from his uproarious and candid collection My World and Welcome to It--including the American classic "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"--as well as from The Owl in the Attic, The Seal in the Bathroom, Men, Women and Dogs. Thurber's take on life, society, and human nature is timeless and will continue to delight readers even as they recognize a bit of themselves in his brilliant sketches. Foreword xiii Preface: My Fifty Years with James Thurber xv I Stories Not Collected Before in Book Form The Lady on 142 3(8) The Catbird Seat 11(10) Memoirs of a Drudge 21(7) The Cane in the Corridor 28(7) The Secret Life of James Thurber 35(7) Recollections of the Gas Buggy 42(9) II From My World and Welcome to It What do You Mean It was Brillig? 51(4) The Secret Life of Walter Mitty 55(6) Here Lies Miss Groby 61(4) The Man Who Hated Moonbaum 65(6) The Macbeth Murder Mystery 71(5) A Ride with Olympy 76(11) III From Let Your Mind Alone! Destructive Forces in Life 87(7) Sex Ex Machina 94(7) The Breaking up of the Winships 101(6) The admiral on the wheel 107(4) A Couple of Hamburgers 111(5) Bateman comes home 116(4) Doc Marlowe 120(6) The Wood Duck 126(7) IV From The Middle-Aged Man on the Flying Trapeze The Departure of Emma Inch 133(6) There's an owl in my room 139(4) The Topaz Cufflinks Mystery 143(3) Snapshot of a Dog 146(5) Something to say 151(7) The Curb in the sky 158(4) The Black magic of Barney Haller 162(5) If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox 167(4) The Remarkable Case of Mr. Bruhl 171(7) The Luck of Jad Peters 178(6) The Greatest man in the World 184(8) The Evening's at Seven 192(4) One is a Wanderer 196(11) V My Life and Hard Times, complete Preface to a Life 207(4) The Night the Bed Fell 211(7) The car we had to Push 218(8) The day the Dam Broke 226(7) The night the ghost got in 233(7) More alarms at night 240(6) A Sequence of servants 246(7) The Dog that bit People 253(8) University Days 261(9) Draft Board Nights 270(11) A Note at the end 281(6) VI From Fables for Our Time and Famous Poems Illustrated The Birds and the Foxes 287(2) The Little Girl and the Wolf 289(2) The Scotty who Knew too Much 291(2) The Very Proper Gander 293(2) The Bear Who Let it Alone 295(1) The Shrike and the Chipmunks 296(3) The seal who became famous 299(1) The crow and the oriole 300(3) The moth and the star 303(2) The glass in the field 305(2) The Rabbits who caused all the trouble 307(1) The owl who was god 308(2) The unicorn in the carden 310(2) Excelsior 312(6) ``Oh when I was...'' 318(2) Barbara Frietchie 320(8) The sands o'dee 328(4) Curfew must not ring tonight 332(9) VII From The Owl in the Attic The pet department 341(22) VIII From The Seal in the Bedroom ``With You I Have Known Peace, Lida, and Now You Say You're Going Crazy'' 363(1) ``Are You the Young Man That Bit My Daughter?'' 363(1) ``Here's a Study for You, Doctor---He Faints'' 364(1) ``Mamma Always Gets Sore and Spoils the Game for Everybody'' 364(1) ``For the Last Time---You and Your Horsie Get Away from Me and Stay Away!'' 365(1) ``Well, What's Come Over You Suddenly?'' 365(1) ``Have You People Got Any .38 Cartidges?'' 366(1) ``The Father Belonged to Some People Who Were Driving Through in a Packard'' 366(1) ``Stop Me!'' 367(1) ``I Don't Know. George Got It Somewhere'' 367(1) ``All Right, Have It Your Way---You Heard a Seal Bark'' 368(11) The Bloodhound and the Bug 369(10) IX From Men, Women and Dogs ``This is Not the Real Me You're Seeing, Mrs. Clisbie'' 379(1) ``What's Come Over You Since Friday, Miss Schemke?'' 379(1) ``Hello, Darling---Woolgathering?'' 380(1) ``It's a Native Domestic Burgundy Without Any Breeding, But I Think You'll Be Amused by Its Presumption'' 380(1) ``Oh, Doctor Canroy---Look!'' 381(1) ``I'd Feel a Great Deal Easier If Her Husband Hadn't Gone to Bed'' 381(1) ``Touche!'' 382(1) ``And This Is Tom Weatherby, an Old Beau of Your Mother's. He Never Got to First Base'' 382(1) ``Perhaps This Will Refresh Your Memory'' 383(1) ``...And Keep Me a Normal, Healthy, American Girl'' 383(1) ``It's Parkins, Sir; We're 'Aving a Bit of a Time Below Stairs'' 384(1) ``Darling, I Seem to Have This Rabbit'' 385(1) ``That's My First Wife Up There, and This Is the Present Mrs. Harris'' 385(1) ``You're Not My Patient, You're My Meat, Mrs. Quist!'' 386(1) ``She Has the True Emily Dickinson Spirit Except That She Gets Fed Up Occasionally'' 386(1) ``I Said the Hounds of Spring Are on Winter's Traces---But Let It Pass, Let It Pass!'' 387(1) ``For Heaven's Sake, Why Don't You Go Outdoors and Trace Something?'' 387(1) ``I Don't Want Him to Be Comfortable If He's Going to Look Too Funny.'' 388(1) ``Yoo-hoo, It's Me and the Ape Man'' 388(1) ``Look Out! Here They Come Again!'' 389(1) ``You Wait Here and I'll Bring the Etchings Down'' 389(1) ``Well, Who Made the Magic Go Out of Our Marriage---You or Me?'' 390(1) House and Woman 390(1) ``Well, If I Called the Wrong Number, Why Did You Answer the Phone?'' 391(1) ``This Gentleman Was Kind Enough to See Me Home, Darling'' 391(1) ``I Come From Haunts of Coot and Hern!'' 392(1) ``Well, I'm Disenchanted, Too. We're All Disenchanted'' 392(1) ``What Do You Want to Be Inscrutable for, Marcia?'' 393(1) ``You Said a Moment Ago That Everybody You Look at Seems to Be a Rabbit. Now Just What Do You Mean by That, Mrs. Sprague?'' 393(1) ``Why, I Never Dreamed Your Union Had Been Blessed With Issue!'' 394(1) ``Have You Seen My Pistol, Honey-bun?'' 394(1) ``It's Our Own Story Exactly! He Bold as a Hawk, She Soft as the Dawn'' 395(1) ``You and Your Permonitions!'' 396(1) ``All Right, All Right, Try It That Way! Go Ahead and Try It That Way!'' 397(1) ``Well, It Makes a Difference to Me!'' 397(1) ``There's No Use You Trying to Save Me, My Good Man'' 398(1) Man in Tree 399(1) ``What Have You Done With Dr. Millmoss?'' 400(13) The War Between Men and Women 401(12) About James Thurber 413(10) The Thurber Carnival, 1945 423