Discusses what black males fear most, their longing for intimacy, the pitfalls of patriarchy, and the destruction of oppression through redemption and love. Are black men cool, or are they despised? This text goes beyond the usual analysis of the black male - difficult childhood, white racism, poverty - to ask questions which other books are unwilling to address, examining what black males fear most and probing the depths of their longing for intimacy, for fathers and for meaningful relationships. Preface about black men: don't believe the hype ix Chapter 1 plantation patriarchy 1(14) Chapter 2 gangsta culture: a piece of the action 15(18) Chapter 3 schooling black males 33(14) Chapter 4 don't make me hurt you: black male violence 47(20) Chapter 5 it's a dick thing: beyond sexual acting out 67(18) Chapter 6 from angry boys to angry men 85(16) Chapter 7 waiting for daddy to come home: black male parenting 101(14) Chapter 8 doing the work of love 115(18) Chapter 9 healing the hurt 133(14) Chapter 10 the coolness of being real 147