any had questioned the probability that Hunter S. Thompson would ever write a memoir. But the enigmatic legend of letters bucked the odds, resulting in a hilarious account of the making of the Gonzo journalist. Foreword by Timothy Ferris xv Memo from the Sports Desk xix PART ONE When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Turn Pro 3(26) The Mailbox: Louisville, Summer of 1946 3(5) Would You Do It Again? 8(11) The Witness 19(10) There Is No Such Thing as Paranoia 29(13) Strange Lusts and Terrifying Memories 29(4) Rape in Cherokee Park 33(1) God Might Forgive You, but I Won't 34(6) The New Dumb 40(2) In the Belly of the Beast 42(29) Sally Loved Football Players 44(2) Paris Review #156 46(7) What Marijuana? 53(2) Lynching in Denver 55(5) The Felony Murder Law-Don't Let This Happen to You 60(5) Jesus Hated Bald Pussy 65(6) PART TWO Politics Is the Art of Controlling Your Environment 71(73) Running for Sheriff: Aspen 1970 71(26) Sunday Night at the Fontainebleau 97(5) Memo from the Sheriff 102(4) Dealing with the D.A.-Before and After 106(6) Saturday Night in Aspen 112(4) Witness II 116(28) Seize the Night 144(24) The Night Manager 144(9) 16 Alexander 153(7) Where Were You When the Fun Stopped? 160(1) September 11, 2001 161(7) Speedism 168(25) Rules for Driving Fast 168(4) Song of the Sausage Creature 172(5) The Lion and the Cadillac 177(3) Geerlings & the War Minister's Son 180(7) Yesterday's Weirdness Is Tomorrow's Reason Why 187(2) Letter to John Walsh 189(4) PART THREE The Foreign Correspondent 193(89) May You Live in Interesting Times 193(1) Last Days of Saigon 194(2) One Hand Clapping 196(3) The Invasion of Grenada 199(18) Ambassador to Cuba 217(24) Witness III 241(36) Letter from Lawyer Goldstein 277(5) It Never Got Weird Enough for Me 282(53) Fear and Loathing in Elko 285(31) Heeere's Johnny! 316(10) Kiss, Kiss 326(4) The War on Fat 330(2) Welcome to the Fourth Reich 332(3) Amor Vincit Omnia 335 The White Helicopter 335(3) Hey Rube, I Love You 338(7) Fear and Loathing at the Taco Stand 345